Jake's Garden Gun Builds

17 April 2026, Jacob Tumolo

Spring is in the air. That means It’s time to restart those gardens and marks the rekindling of a centuries long war with pests. 
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Groundhogs come from the depths of the underworld to ravage your tomatoes; Crows descend upon the crops like locusts from the plagues of Egypt; squirrels, with their beady eyes and advanced tool use; rabbits, With the speed of a motivated mugger on the streets of New York; racoons, with their masks and apposable thumbs - they just look guilty; and feral pigs, the Sherman tank of the opposing side, where serious firepower is needed! 
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It’s a dangerous world and you need to be prepared for all the vandals you may encounter. We’re going to break down some weapon systems to prepare you for your backyard deployment.

Rifle Build

A bolt action 22LR rifle with hollow point ammunition is the most versatile and precise tool in your quiver of weaponry. They are useful for all manners of ghastly pests. Headshots are preferable and recommended for targets groundhog sized and up. The Vortex diamondback is a great option for glass that won’t break the bank and extend your range to the edges of your backyard. A suppressor is preferable as most HOA’s frown upon firearm use in the neighborhood regardless of if it’s defending your radishes or not. 
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Pros: Precise, cost effective and fun for the whole family
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Cons: Long, Slow fire rate, long and hard to hide from the HOA

Pistol Build

The Taurus TX22 is the Coup De Grace, the spymaster, the CQB extraordinaire and the right hand of the united front against pests. With 16 round magazines, fill them with subsonic ammo for truly Hollywood quiet shooting. A red dot will assist you in those longer shots from the back porch across the pool. The light and laser will be crucial in your close encounters with raccoons late at night. These Taurus pistols are done right with extended magazines and other fun accessories starting to surface to make them even better. The Competition model is my favorite with its optic mount fixed in place which makes for lighting fast follow up shots. 
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Pros: Small, light, discreet, fast and flexible 
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Cons: Your friends will try to steal it

Shotgun Build

Jake's Garden Gun Builds

17 April 2026, Jacob Tumolo

Spring is in the air. That means It’s time to restart those gardens and marks the rekindling of a centuries long war with pests. 
﻿
Groundhogs come from the depths of the underworld to ravage your tomatoes; Crows descend upon the crops like locusts from the plagues of Egypt; squirrels, with their beady eyes and advanced tool use; rabbits, With the speed of a motivated mugger on the streets of New York; racoons, with their masks and apposable thumbs - they just look guilty; and feral pigs, the Sherman tank of the opposing side, where serious firepower is needed! 
﻿
It’s a dangerous world and you need to be prepared for all the vandals you may encounter. We’re going to break down some weapon systems to prepare you for your backyard deployment.

Rifle Build

A bolt action 22LR rifle with hollow point ammunition is the most versatile and precise tool in your quiver of weaponry. They are useful for all manners of ghastly pests. Headshots are preferable and recommended for targets groundhog sized and up. The Vortex diamondback is a great option for glass that won’t break the bank and extend your range to the edges of your backyard. A suppressor is preferable as most HOA’s frown upon firearm use in the neighborhood regardless of if it’s defending your radishes or not. 
﻿
Pros: Precise, cost effective and fun for the whole family
﻿
Cons: Long, Slow fire rate, long and hard to hide from the HOA

Pistol Build

The Taurus TX22 is the Coup De Grace, the spymaster, the CQB extraordinaire and the right hand of the united front against pests. With 16 round magazines, fill them with subsonic ammo for truly Hollywood quiet shooting. A red dot will assist you in those longer shots from the back porch across the pool. The light and laser will be crucial in your close encounters with raccoons late at night. These Taurus pistols are done right with extended magazines and other fun accessories starting to surface to make them even better. The Competition model is my favorite with its optic mount fixed in place which makes for lighting fast follow up shots. 
﻿
Pros: Small, light, discreet, fast and flexible 
﻿
Cons: Your friends will try to steal it

Shotgun Build

The Beretta A300 Ultima Patrol Raider shotgun is for when stuff gets real hairy. You might be asking, “Jake, do I need a bayonet lug on a shotgun to defend my garden?” 
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Well, I can promise you that I’ve never encountered a close-range situation with a groundhog or feral pig that could not have been improved with a bayonet. The T2 Red Dot will speed up your sight acquisition. (Let’s face it, it’s 2026 and iron sights are for old people and hipsters on Instagram) All guns should have lights on them, It’s dark for half the day and it just so happens that’s when the vermin forces make their moves and take the ground - You can’t shoot what you can’t see. 12 gauge is destructive, so be extra wary of your surroundings and what lays beyond your target - you might destroy the broccoli you set out to protect.
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Birdshot for birds, groundhogs, rabbits and squirrels; buckshot for feral pigs; and Slugs for sasquatch, dogmen and unusually large turtles.
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Pros: Authoritative
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Cons: Loud and does not come with bayonet 

Jake's Garden Gun Builds

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Jake's Garden Gun Builds

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